149 funny dog quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Mar 30, 2026

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Mar 30, 2026

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Mar 30, 2026

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Mar 30, 2026

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Mar 30, 2026

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Mar 30, 2026

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Mar 30, 2026

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Mar 30, 2026

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Mar 30, 2026

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Mar 29, 2026

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Mar 29, 2026

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Mar 29, 2026

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Mar 29, 2026

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Mar 29, 2026

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Mar 29, 2026

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Mar 29, 2026

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Mar 28, 2026

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Mar 28, 2026

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Mar 28, 2026

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Mar 28, 2026

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Mar 28, 2026

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Mar 28, 2026

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Mar 28, 2026

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Mar 28, 2026

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Mar 28, 2026

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Mar 28, 2026

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Mar 28, 2026

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Mar 28, 2026

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Mar 28, 2026