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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Just landed via Messenger:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Live now on Instagram:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Shared recently on Threads:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Spotted on Twitch:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Just shared via Instagram:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Funny easy life quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Making waves on Slack:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Going viral on Facebook:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Just landed via Telegram:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Just landed via Twitch:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

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