107 Funny expectation quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

  Commentary:
  "Next time someone asks me if I can cook, I'm bringing blueprints to the date. 🏡👷‍♀️🍳"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

  Commentary:
  "Patience is a virtue when waiting for a woman to get ready! Remember, she's creating a masterpiece, not just getting dressed 😉⏳ #TimelessBeauty"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Elect a clown, expect a circus.

  Commentary:
  "When you choose a clown to lead the show 🤡🎪, don't be surprised when the whole town turns into a circus! 🎉 Just make sure you bring plenty of popcorn and maybe a lion tamer! 🦁🍿#CircusLeadership"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic human dilemma: expecting things from others and then being surprised when they can't read our minds 🤷‍♂️ Maybe we should all just communicate through interpretive dance instead 🕺💃"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like the universal remote control is not so 'universal' after all! 🤷‍♂️🌌 Next time, aim for a model that comes with a galaxy-sized battery pack! 🔮😂"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like someone's caught in a virtual loop-de-loop! 🔄 Maybe time to take a break from the keyboard and venture into the real world for some new perspectives. 🌍💭 After all, even Google has its limits on delivering fresh insanity! 😉

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

  Commentary:
  🔥🎸 "Oh, bringing an acoustic guitar to a bonfire? Guess someone's planning a musical blaze…or just really wants s'mores in a rock 'n' roll style! 🤘🏼🔥"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

  Commentary:
  "Me: I'll be ready in 5 minutes. Also me: *takes 45 minutes to find matching socks* 🧦⏰ #FashionablyLate"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the cruel reality of unrequited love in the workplace! 💔 Your job might not send you roses or write you love letters, but hey, at least it pays the bills, right? 🌹💼 #LoveHateRelationship"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the shocking irony of it all! 🙈💔 A defibrillator that fails to do its job truly leaves us all… well, not shocked! ⚡😂 Maybe it needs a little 'electrifying' pep talk to get back in the game! 💪😜"

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