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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Normalize saying, “Just as the oracle foretold,” when things go your way.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Just landed via Threads:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Going viral on Threads:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Just shared via Threads:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Seen just now on Discord:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Just shared via Messenger:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

138 Funny expectation quotes

Funny expectation quotes capture the hilarious gap between what we imagine and what actually happens! 😂🎯 Whether it’s expecting a smooth day and getting hit with chaos, or thinking something will be perfect and it’s a complete disaster, these quotes remind us that life rarely matches our expectations — and that’s what makes it so funny! Embrace the surprise and laugh along the way! 😆💭💥

New funny expectation quotes 👇

For even more funny expectation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny expectation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Slack this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

28 shares on YouTube this month:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Fries, not lies.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Easy there, unsaved number.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Making waves on Threads:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Making waves on Slack:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just landed via YouTube:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Trending via Discord:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

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