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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Just landed via Threads:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Spotted on Slack:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Spotted on YouTube:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Going bananas on Slack:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

138 Funny expectation quotes

Funny expectation quotes capture the hilarious gap between what we imagine and what actually happens! 😂🎯 Whether it’s expecting a smooth day and getting hit with chaos, or thinking something will be perfect and it’s a complete disaster, these quotes remind us that life rarely matches our expectations — and that’s what makes it so funny! Embrace the surprise and laugh along the way! 😆💭💥

New funny expectation quotes 👇

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All funny expectation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Facebook this month:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

95 shares on X this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

53 shares on Discord this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Going viral on Threads:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Just shared via Facebook:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Shared recently on Slack:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Breaking via Twitch:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

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