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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Broadcasted on Discord:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Going viral on Discord:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Breaking via YouTube:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Going viral on Messenger:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

71 Funny feelings quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I put the mess in domestic.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Making waves on Messenger:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Seen just now on Threads:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Just shared via TikTok:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

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