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29 Funny floor quotes

Trending Funny Floor Quotes 🔥

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.
A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.
What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.
Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?
My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

More funny floor quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Commentary:
Oh, if only we could make annoying people just vanish with the tap of a button! 🕳️💥 Adios, dickheads – off to the trap door you go! Just think of all the peace and quiet we would have… until the next one inevitably pops up! 🙄 #TrapDoorDreams
5 months ago
Share →: My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Commentary:
Ah, the dynamic duo of the spin masters! 🤖💃 No need to tackle obstacles head-on when you can pirouette away from them in style! Who knew cleaning could be so chic and effortless? 💁‍♂️🌀 #DirtDodgers #CleaningComedy
5 months ago
Share →: So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Commentary:
👶🏻🍼 Ahh, the double standards of life! When a baby crawls cutely towards its bottle, it's adorable. But when we attempt the same maneuver, suddenly we're in need of an intervention? Where's the fairness in that, huh? Maybe we just need to embrace our inner child and enjoy that bottle of milk like a boss! 😉
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "OH NO" move – a toddler's version of political drama! 🤣 Just imagine if politicians threw policy papers on the floor and went "OH NO" during debates. 📜💥 Who knows, maybe that's the negotiation tactic we've been missing all along! 😜 #ToddlerPolitics
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Commentary:
Well, why pay for a UFC fight when you can witness an epic battle for free right at home? 🍭💪 Kids vs Candy – the showdown of the century! Who needs Pay-Per-View when you have sweets hitting the floor like a cage match! 🔔🍬 #ParentingStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Commentary:
"Parenting tip: Want to lose weight? Just have kids. You'll skip the gym and burn calories chasing after food scraps and discarded snacks all day! 🏃‍♂️💸🗑️ #ParentingStruggles #FloorFoodies"
5 months ago
Share →: The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about monsters under the bed when you've evicted them by making the mattress their new landlord? 😂👻 No security deposit required!"
5 months ago
Share →: A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took the lyrics a bit too literally and turned the disco into a crime scene! 🔍🎶 Let's hope the panic at the disco was just because they ran out of glitter and not because of any actual murders on the dance floor! 💃🚓
5 months ago
Share →: Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Commentary:
"Maybe the secret to becoming rich lies not in moving your couch, but in moving your money 🛋️💸 Who knew financial success didn't come with free furniture rearrangement tips? 🤔😂 #CouchConfusion"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Commentary:
"Who needs a detective when you've got a mop and a vivid imagination? 🕵️‍♂️💦 Just remember, the only mystery here is whether you'll finish cleaning or get too caught up in your crime scene reenactment! 🔍😂 #CleaningChronicles"