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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Just landed via Instagram:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Live now on Twitch:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Making waves on X:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Going viral on Telegram:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Instagram:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Spotted on YouTube:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Live now on Threads:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Breaking via Facebook:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Making waves on Threads:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Going viral on TikTok:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Just shared via Slack:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Reported on X:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

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