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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

28 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Breaking via Threads:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Spotted on Telegram:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Trending via Twitch:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Spotted on Twitch:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Home » Funny Get Out Quotes

Funny get out quotes

Funny get out quotes are the perfect dose of sass and humor when you need to make a quick exit 🚪😄 Whether you’re dodging awkward moments or just want to leave with style, these witty lines bring laughter and attitude to every goodbye 👋🔥 Ready to turn your exit into a mic-drop moment? Let’s dive into some hilarious gems that’ll have everyone smiling as you make your grand getaway! 🎉😂

New funny get out quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate challenge: a parking garage maze vs. a fearless driver! 🚗💨 Enter at your own risk, but beware of the twists and turns. 🔄 Who will emerge victorious: the concrete structure or the indomitable human spirit? 🤔💥 #ParkingGarageWars"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't find adventure in your own backyard? 🏡 Exploring the world is great and all, but have you tried the thrill of rediscovering your couch after a long day out? 😄 Home sweet home never felt so good!"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Commentary:
Sounds like that poor fat man is trapped like a sardine in a can! 🤭🐟 Let him out for some air, or better yet, some cake! 🍰😂

For even more funny get out quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny get out quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

28 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Spotted on Discord:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Spotted on Twitch:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Making waves on Instagram:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Trending via Facebook:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Trending via Facebook:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

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