38 Funny half quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

  Commentary:
  Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

  Commentary:
  Guess I was half asleep when I first heard that! 🐄😂

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

  Commentary:
  "Applying for jobs with a *tear*-rific twist! 😂👕💪 #HulkHoganInTheOffice"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you grapefruits, swap them for pancakes! 🥞😂 #GrapefruitGoals #TeamPancakes"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

  Commentary:
  "Same here! I think I left my glass in the Twilight Zone. 🍷🤦‍♂️ #LostAndThirsty"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: the bots are better at small talk than I am! 🤖😅 #BotLife"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you lemons, make sure you know where the bathroom is! 🍋🚽😄"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

  Commentary:
  "Patience is a virtue when waiting for a woman to get ready! Remember, she's creating a masterpiece, not just getting dressed 😉⏳ #TimelessBeauty"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

  Commentary:
  "Handle spaghetti with care – you never know how many Nonnas out there are silently gasping! 🍝⚡😂 #FoodieFauxPas"

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