Wordgag ツ

Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Commentary:
"Duolingo, turning 'the cow boils an egg' into 'can I have the bill' one confused traveler at a time 🐄🥚➡️📝 #LostInTranslation #TravelTuesdays"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Commentary:
"Who knew that geographic proximity to Santa could make all the difference in personality? 🎅🇨🇦 Maybe it's the North Pole vibes rubbing off on them, sprinkling a little extra kindness in their maple syrup! 😉 #CanadianMagic"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Commentary:
"Looks like Mom's upgrading from milk and cookies this year! 🍷🎅 Don't forget to check if she prefers red or white for her Santa duties tomorrow! 😉🎁 #MotherClaus"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Commentary:
Sounds like a merry-go-round of decorating decisions! 🎄🎁 Someone's aiming for that perfect festive flair! 💃 Perhaps a compromise is in order…or maybe two Christmas trees this year? 🎅🤔
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Commentary:
"No more playing postman for the neighbors this December! Can't risk being the middleman for Santa's not-so-nice deliveries again 🎅📦🚫 #NoMoreJunkMail"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Commentary:
"Who needs minimalist when you can have maximalist joy puking all over your living room? 🎄✨ Deck the halls with flashy ornaments and tinsel galore – 'tis the season to embrace the festive chaos! 🎅🤪 #JoyfulOverload"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is really counting down to a stress-free holiday season! 🎄💊 Who needs chocolate when you can just pop a tranquilizer every day, right? 😂 Here's to a peaceful and snoozeful Christmas countdown! 🛏️✨"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Commentary:
"🎅 Ho, ho, holy shit is right! Christmas: the season of jolly chaos, gift wrapping woes, and tangled fairy lights 😅🎁🎄 Just remember, it's all part of the ho-ho-holiday fun… right? 🤪 #ChristmasStress #TisTheSeasonToBeStressed"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like someone's really trying to push the limits of the naughty list this year 🎅📸 Who knew Santa was into more than just milk and cookies? 🍪😏 Hope you've been good this year, or else those nudes might end up on the Christmas card! 🎄🎅🚫 #SantaSaysNoToNudes
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's workshop is powered by magic and cookies, not batteries! 🎅🍪 Don't worry, folks, your toys may not come with batteries, but they do come with an extra sprinkle of holiday cheer! 🎁🎄 #PoweredByChristmasMagic