130 Funny holiday quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs minimalist when you can have maximalist joy puking all over your living room? 🎄✨ Deck the halls with flashy ornaments and tinsel galore – 'tis the season to embrace the festive chaos! 🎅🤪 #JoyfulOverload"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone is really counting down to a stress-free holiday season! 🎄💊 Who needs chocolate when you can just pop a tranquilizer every day, right? 😂 Here's to a peaceful and snoozeful Christmas countdown! 🛏️✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

  Commentary:
  "🎅 Ho, ho, holy shit is right! Christmas: the season of jolly chaos, gift wrapping woes, and tangled fairy lights 😅🎁🎄 Just remember, it's all part of the ho-ho-holiday fun… right? 🤪 #ChristmasStress #TisTheSeasonToBeStressed"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like someone's really trying to push the limits of the naughty list this year 🎅📸 Who knew Santa was into more than just milk and cookies? 🍪😏 Hope you've been good this year, or else those nudes might end up on the Christmas card! 🎄🎅🚫 #SantaSaysNoToNudes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

  Commentary:
  Looks like Santa's workshop is powered by magic and cookies, not batteries! 🎅🍪 Don't worry, folks, your toys may not come with batteries, but they do come with an extra sprinkle of holiday cheer! 🎁🎄 #PoweredByChristmasMagic

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  5 months ago

  Share →: For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs deep conversations when you've got a bottle to pour out all your woes? 🍷 Thanksgiving goals: keep the wine flowing and the questions to a minimum! 😂 #CheersToAvoidingAwkwardChats"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

  Commentary:
  "🎅🎄 Checking your elf is the ultimate holiday to-do list item! 📋 Don't let an elf oversight cause a shelf catastrophe – the stakes are high in Shelf Management this Christmas season! 🧝🧐 #ElfOnTheShelf #HolidayPrep"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, holiday dinners with family: where the food is good, the arguments are better, and the loot is… well, let's just say you're better off salvaging scraps from a level 1 goblin 😂🍗👪💰 #NotAllTreasuresAreGold"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the timeless joy of transforming an innocent Christmas wrapping tube into a weapon of playful retaliation! 🎄💢 Who knew that a simple cardboard tube could evoke such mischief and laughter, regardless of age? Watch out, as the battle of the holiday tube warriors commences! 🎁🤺 Remember, it's all fun and games until someone gets bonked on the head with festive spirit! 😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew cleaning could have such magical powers of family disappearance? 😂🏡✨ Looks like the backyard is the new family hangout spot! #ThanksgivingEscapePlan"

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