181 Funny home quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

  Commentary:
  "Home is where you trust the toilet seat… and hope the floor isn't too cold in the middle of the night 😅🚽 #TheStruggleIsReal"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

  Commentary:
  Looks like your boyfriend was definitely on a cleaning spree – either that or he's secretly moonlighting as a crime scene cleaner! It's always good to have a partner who's willing to take care of the mess, just try not to jump to the worst conclusions next time he breaks out the mop!

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

  Commentary:
  “Ah, the age-old question – am I at home or simply stuck in a parallel universe that looks suspiciously like my living room? A philosophical inquiry indeed, worthy of further investigation involving deep contemplation and maybe a quick check for any lost socks under the couch.”

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the true spirit of Thanksgiving – not just a celebration of gratitude, but also a strategic operation for securing the best leftovers! It's like a tasty treasure hunt where the real prize is that second helping of pumpkin pie. So, if you're hoping for well-wishes, better come prepared with a Tupperware and a hearty appetite! Happy Turkey Day and may your fridge always be full."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, a modern-day nature lover embracing the joys of indoor gardening! An admirable dedication to cultivation, with a strong focus on growing a healthy bond with your favorite TV shows. Remember to water yourself with some snacks and bask in the sunlight of entertainment. Keep blooming and thriving, dear plant enthusiast!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

  Commentary:
  "Home is where you trust the toilet seats…and that's when you know you've found true love and comfort! 🏡💕 Just be sure to give your toilet seat a little pep talk every now and then for good measure! 😄🚽 #HomeSweetHome"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

  Commentary:
  🏆🏠 "If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me." Now that's what you call next-level homebody skills! Who needs a trophy when you've mastered the art of staying comfy at home? 😂 #HomebodyChampion

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the eternal truth of feeling like a homebody disguised as a social butterfly! 🦋🏡 Embrace the joy of going out just so you can have that epic "ahh, I'm finally home" moment. Who needs wild adventures when you have the cozy comfort of your own kingdom, am I right? 👑🛋️

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that finding a parking spot could be the ultimate make-or-break moment in adulting? 🅿️🚗 Sometimes the struggle is just too real that surrendering and heading back home seems like the only logical option! 😂 #LifeGoals #ParkingStruggles"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

  Commentary:
  Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals

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