275 funny home quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

May 28, 2026

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

May 28, 2026

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

May 28, 2026

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

May 28, 2026

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

May 28, 2026

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

May 28, 2026

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

May 28, 2026

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

May 28, 2026

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

May 28, 2026

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

May 28, 2026

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

May 28, 2026

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

May 28, 2026

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

May 28, 2026

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

May 28, 2026

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

May 28, 2026

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

May 28, 2026

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

May 28, 2026

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

May 28, 2026

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

May 28, 2026

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

May 28, 2026

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

May 28, 2026

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

May 28, 2026

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

May 28, 2026

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

May 28, 2026

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

May 28, 2026

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

May 28, 2026

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

May 27, 2026

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

May 27, 2026

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

May 27, 2026

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

May 27, 2026

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

May 27, 2026

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

May 27, 2026

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

May 27, 2026

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

May 27, 2026

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

May 27, 2026

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

May 27, 2026

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

May 27, 2026

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

May 27, 2026

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

May 27, 2026

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

May 27, 2026