Commentary:
Work-life balance is just a fancy way of saying I'm confused about where I want to nap! 🛋️💤💼
275 Funny home quotes
Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?
Commentary:
Imagine training for the Olympics of procrastination 😂🚗⏳🏆
Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).
Commentary:
When you're a master chef in your own kitchen and somehow broke at the same time 🥑💸👩🍳.
My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.
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Looks like your couch has seen more drama than my favorite TV show 😂🛋️📺
Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.
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Just imagine he suggests a couch without 37 decorative pillows 🛋️😱📌
Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.
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Entering my house with drama levels on high? This isn't a soap opera audition! 😂🏡🚫📈
I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.
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When I put on my Adam Sandler clothes, my couch automatically turns into the VIP section 🍿🛋️😂
Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.
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👀 When gas prices are high but the priorities remain… interesting 🚗💸
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.
Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of someone else's freedom as my background music while I draft another email 🤣💼✨
Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.
Commentary:
I completely get it! After a movie, I'm mentally preparing to save the world with a popcorn bucket and ticket stub. 🍿🎬🦸♂️