275 funny home quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

May 27, 2026

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

May 27, 2026

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

May 27, 2026

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

May 26, 2026

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

May 26, 2026

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

May 26, 2026

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

May 26, 2026

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

May 26, 2026

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

May 26, 2026

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

May 26, 2026

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

May 26, 2026

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

May 26, 2026

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

May 26, 2026

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

May 26, 2026

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

May 26, 2026

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

May 26, 2026

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

May 26, 2026

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

May 26, 2026

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

May 26, 2026

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

May 26, 2026

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

May 26, 2026

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

May 26, 2026

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

May 26, 2026

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

May 26, 2026

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

May 26, 2026

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

May 25, 2026

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

May 25, 2026

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

May 25, 2026

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

May 25, 2026

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

May 25, 2026

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

May 25, 2026

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

May 25, 2026

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

May 25, 2026

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

May 25, 2026

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

May 25, 2026

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

May 25, 2026

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

May 25, 2026May 25, 2026

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

May 25, 2026

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

May 25, 2026

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

May 25, 2026