Wordgag ツ

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless parent trickery of the "in a minute" promise – code for "let's hope they get distracted and I can avoid this task altogether!" 🕒🧒🏼👧🏻 Parenting 101: When in doubt, distract and evade! 😉🤷🏻‍♂️ #ParentingStruggles #MasterOfDistraction
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Commentary:
"Oh, you don't know how to thank me? Well, last time I checked, money talks! 💸💁‍♂️ Don't worry, I accept payments in cash, check, or even a bag of tacos! 🌮😉"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Commentary:
"Who needs a box when you've got unlimited imagination? 🌟 Think so far outside the box that you forget it even exists! 📦🚫 #BreakingBarriers"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've cracked the code, folks! 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️ Being a superhero is clearly the ultimate relationship status. Who needs a sidekick when you've got superpowers, right? 😄💥 #SuperSingle"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic tale of unrequited love in the digital age – a modern-day tragedy in 5 steps! 🙈💔 Maybe the 999 other girls were just practice rounds in the game of love. Who knew narrowing down your options could be so challenging? Keep your chin up, Romeo! 🌟"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Commentary:
"Them: Money doesn't bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad. 💸😂 Who knew being sad could feel so luxurious? Bring on the tears of joy… or is it tears of cash now?"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Commentary:
"Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship? 🍷🤔 Maybe love really is like a fine wine, better with a little buzz 😂🍇 #RelationshipReflections"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Commentary:
"I put the 'pro' in procrastinate…and the 'astinate'. 🙈😂 Who said being a pro at something was always a good thing? At least you're excelling in taking your sweet time!⏳🏆 #ProcrastinationExpert"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Commentary:
"Who knew money had such problem-solving skills?! 💸 Solving 69 problems like a boss, and leaving you with a cool 30 to deal with… Guess money can't buy you a solution to everything! 😉 #99ProblemsButCashAintOne"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Commentary:
"Ah, the secret to a peaceful life – never argue, just confidently enlighten others about your undeniable brilliance! 💁‍♂️💡 Who needs arguments when you have the power of explanation on your side? 🤣 #AlwaysRight"