Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Just landed via Telegram:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Just shared via Telegram:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Making waves on Twitch:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Breaking via Slack:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Home » Funny Jerky Quotes

Funny jerky quotes

Funny jerky quotes bring a tasty twist of humor to your snack time 🍖😂 Whether you’re a meat lover or just craving a chuckle, these witty lines slice through the ordinary and serve up laughs with every bite 😜🔥 Get ready to snack smarter and smile wider—jerky just got a whole lot funnier! 🎉🥳

New funny jerky quotes 👇

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

0

2 months ago

adventure, beef, beef jerky, diet, fish, food, humor, jerky, keto, lifestyle, pirate, rum
I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, beef, beef jerky, food, humor, i, jerky, luxury, money, offended, price, rich, want, wealth

All funny jerky quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Introverts have fun too, we just don’t care if you know…

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,838

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Spotted on YouTube:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Going viral on YouTube:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Freshly posted on X:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Making waves on TikTok:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Going viral on Instagram:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴