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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Just landed via Messenger:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Broadcasted on Threads:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Trending via Telegram:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Freshly posted on X:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Making waves on Slack:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Going viral on Messenger:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Funny jerky quotes

Funny jerky quotes bring a tasty twist of humor to your snack time 🍖😂 Whether you’re a meat lover or just craving a chuckle, these witty lines slice through the ordinary and serve up laughs with every bite 😜🔥 Get ready to snack smarter and smile wider—jerky just got a whole lot funnier! 🎉🥳

New funny jerky quotes 👇

All funny jerky quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Twitch this month:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

36 shares on X this month:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Just shared via TikTok:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Seen just now on Threads:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Shared recently on Threads:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Just landed via Pinterest:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

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