Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m sick of living through history!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Just shared via X:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Just landed via X:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Making waves on Slack:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Seen just now on Discord:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Just shared via Reddit:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Freshly posted on X:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Going viral on Threads:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Home » Funny Jesus Quotes

27 Funny Jesus quotes

Funny Jesus quotes bring a lighthearted touch to faith and humor! ✨😂 From witty remarks to playful observations, these quotes offer a fresh and amusing perspective on stories and lessons. Enjoy a laugh while reflecting on the fun side of spirituality! 😄🙏

New funny Jesus quotes 👇

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

0

6 days ago

40s, accident, activity, cardiologist, great, health, hiking, humor, i, Jesus, medical, meet, met, new, nurse, outdoor, outdoor activity, paramedic, people, three, today
Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

0

3 weeks ago

death, died, disk, floppy, floppy disk, humor, icon, Jesus, metaphor, saving, technology
“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

0

1 month ago

asked, ChatGPT, christ, conversation, humor, i, Jesus, Jesus Christ, joke, okay, religious, technology, well
“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

0

1 month ago

always, drinking, enjoyment, fun, girl, God, humor, Jesus, miracle, sarcasm, wine
You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

0

1 month ago

exercise, fitness, humor, Jesus, killed, me, Pilates, reference, religious, religious reference, sarcasm, thing, want
Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

0

1 month ago

Chernobyl, comparison, disaster, exaggeration, humor, Jesus, meltdown
Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

0

1 month ago

among, being, comparison, humor, i’ll, irony, Jesus, media, mentally, mentally ill, poor, prostitute, social, social media, spent, time, Twitter, unemployed
Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

0

1 month ago

birthday, celebration, fun, i, Jesus, money, need, organize
I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

0

1 month ago

arrival, baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, just, looking, man, men, Nativity, phone, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man
I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

0

1 month ago

baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, die, Die Hard, family, film, hard, holiday, humor, Jesus, Nativity, scene, tradition, TV, watch

For even more funny Jesus quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Jesus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Spotted on Messenger:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Seen just now on Discord:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Shared recently on Slack:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Spotted on Snapchat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

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