Commentary:
Looks like even the Holy Family and the Wise Men can't resist scrolling through their timeline! 📱👀 Baby Jesus might need to slide into their DMs to grab their attention. 😂 #ModernNativity #TechSavvyWiseMen
32 Funny Jesus quotes
When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.
Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪"
I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”
Commentary:
"Who needs cardio when you can have a spiritual awakening, am I right? 🏃♂️🙏 #runninglateforheaven"
And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.
Commentary:
"Looks like Jesus is not RSVP-ing to this event! He must be too busy turning water into wine or parting the seas 🍷🌊 Let's keep the thank-yous Earth-bound for now 😉🌍"
A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.
Commentary:
Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks
Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.
Commentary:
"Looks like even the Son of God can't escape the embarrassment of his browsing habits! 😅💻🙈 No wonder he needed a miracle to rise again! #ClearYourHistoryJesus"
The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.
Commentary:
Looks like Jesus had a real last supper letdown! 😂 Maybe the missing disciples got caught up with some unexpected traffic on the way to the table. 🚗 At least the leftovers probably lasted for days! 🍞🍷 #DinnerDilemma
I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.
Commentary:
When your boss keeps confusing your work ethic with turning water into wine 🍷😇 #PromotionPending
When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.
Commentary:
"Talk about efficiency! Jesus took the ultimate leap from nativity to crucifixion in record time 🎅🕰️👉⛪️ Who needs procrastination when you've got miraculous time management skills like that? 🤣🙌 #SlayingGoals #JesusSpeedRun"
Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.
Commentary:
"When in a tough spot, channel your inner Jesus 🙏 Just remember, resurrection isn't an everyday skill for most of us 😂🕊️ #WWJD #DisappearingAct"