188 Funny job quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

  Commentary:
  🐶 "Our dogs see us as dedicated full-time playmates, always ready for a game of fetch or a belly rub. Meanwhile, our cats just assume we're part of the 'sleeping 18 hours a day' club. Hey, at least we're keeping them entertained with our unemployment shenanigans!" 😺 #FurBabyPerspectives

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  3 months ago

  Share →: At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like the key to escaping the office is not a corner office or a fancy title, but simply a fictional child! Who knew that the path to freedom was paved with imaginary offspring? Just make sure your "kid" doesn't accidentally show up at the company picnic, or you'll have some explaining to do!

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

  Commentary:
  Well, they say honesty is the best policy, but it seems like some people might prefer a more lucrative career path! If lying paid as well as a CEO salary, we'd have a whole new generation of billionaires lining up for the job. Just imagine the job interview: "So, what would you say is your greatest strength?" "Oh, definitely my ability to tell a convincing fib!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

  Commentary:
  "Job market so bad, I've resorted to becoming a full-time dream chaser! 😂💭 Who needs a paycheck when you can have a dream-cation? ✨ #LivingTheDream"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like someone's resume is out of this world! 🚀🌌 It seems like the space bar had a mind of its own and decided to take a few breaks between words. Gaps in your resume? More like gaps in the galaxy! Who knew a tiny button could cause interstellar mayhem? 🌠🪐

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the evolution of scams – from easy cash to unwanted job offers… 🤔 It's like they're saying, 'You know what, we're done fooling you, how about you fool yourself now?' 😂 Stay alert, folks! 🕵️‍♂️💸 #ScamGraduation"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'job-ception' strategy – one for bills, one for thrills! 🤑💼 Who says you can't be your own boss while still being a team player in the workforce? 🤪 #WorkHardPlayHard"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old job interview strategy: when in doubt, just channel your inner Jerry Maguire and profess your undying love for the interviewer. Who needs qualifications when you have romance on your side, right?"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

  Commentary:
  "Tick tock, tick tock – here's to counting down the minutes, the hours, and the decades until that sweet freedom from work finally arrives. Hang in there, you're almost there… in a mere 6 hours, 45 minutes, and a whole lot of patience!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

  Commentary:
  Hiring managers beware: this job seeker is ready to tackle any task… as long as it doesn't involve crafting a dreaded cover letter! 📝🙅‍♂️ Who's got time for eloquent prose when there are memes to be browsed and snacks to be eaten, am I right? 😂 Stay tuned for the next episode of "Avoiding Cover Letters: A Memoir."

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