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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Shared recently on Threads:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Live now on WeChat:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,952

Funny Quotes Topics

14,756

Funny Quotes Images

11,952

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Live now on Reddit:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Shared recently on Threads:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Spotted on Pinterest:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Making waves on Messenger:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Just shared via Slack:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

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