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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

So my wife goes, “It’s not you — it’s me.” Obviously written by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Going viral on X:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Breaking via Threads:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Going viral on Messenger:

I run a parody bank account.

Going bananas on TikTok:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Just landed via Messenger:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Seen just now on Facebook:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

79 Funny laundry quotes

Funny laundry quotes add a touch of humor to the never-ending chore of washing clothes! 🧺😂 From the trials of sorting colors to the mystery of missing socks, these quotes capture the lighter side of laundry day. Enjoy a laugh as you tackle the laundry pile! 😄👕

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

42 shares on X this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

77 shares on Slack this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Trending via Instagram:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Trending via Twitch:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Live now on WeChat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Just shared via WeChat:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Trending via WhatsApp:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

These aliens are taking forever.

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