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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,979

Funny Quotes Topics

14,787

Funny Quotes Images

11,979

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Shared recently on Discord:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Just landed via Telegram:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Reported on Slack:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Home » Funny Long Week Quotes

Funny long week quotes

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All funny long week quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,979

Funny Quotes Topics

14,787

Funny Quotes Images

11,979

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Spotted on Reddit:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Trending via Twitch:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Making waves on Slack:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

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