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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Just landed via Threads:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Making waves on Telegram:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Making waves on TikTok:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Live now on Threads:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Making waves on Discord:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Trending via Facebook:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Trending via YouTube:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Shared recently on YouTube:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Spotted on X:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

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