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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Going viral on Facebook:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Live now on Slack:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Making waves on Slack:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Trending via Pinterest:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Reported on Snapchat:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Spotted on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Trending via Twitch:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Spotted on Reddit:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

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