Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Freshly posted on Discord:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Funny mate quotes

Funny mate quotes are the perfect way to celebrate the hilarious ups and downs of friendship 🤣✨ Whether you’re teasing your bestie or sharing a cheeky laugh, these witty lines capture the true spirit of having a partner in crime 🤪👯‍♂️ Get ready to brighten your day and your chat with some side-splitting humor that only true mates understand! 😂🔥 #FriendshipGoals

New funny mate quotes 👇

All funny mate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

88 shares on Discord this month:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

46 shares on Slack this month:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Just landed via Twitch:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Trending via TikTok:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Just shared via Slack:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

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