Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Just shared via Telegram:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Trending via TikTok:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Spotted on Reddit:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Live now on Telegram:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Funny meowlergy quotes

New funny meowlergy quotes 👇

All funny meowlergy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

69 shares on Slack this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

42 shares on Twitch this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Just shared via TikTok:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Going viral on Facebook:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Trending via Discord:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

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