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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Spotted on Messenger:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Trending via Facebook:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Trending via X:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Home » Funny Money Quotes

280 Funny money quotes

Funny money quotes bring a humorous perspective to our relationship with finances! 💸😂 From witty takes on budgeting to the quirks of spending, these quotes offer a lighthearted look at the often serious topic of money. Enjoy a laugh as you ponder the ups and downs of financial life! 😄🤑

New funny money quotes 👇

5 hours ago
Share →: If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?
5 days ago
Share →: I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Commentary:
Going to start checking under the couch cushions with a metal detector now 😂💰🔍
6 days ago
Share →: When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Commentary:
Guess I’ll have to start practicing my bat skills, because daylight is getting way too expensive! 🦇💡😅
$Funny money quotes - Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.$

1 week ago
Share →: Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Commentary:
Shipping charges? Never heard of them—I'm too busy unlocking *free delivery* levels with my new skills in girl math! 💁‍♀️🛍️📦
1 week ago
Share →: I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when five bucks made me feel like a millionaire! 🤑💸
1 week ago
Share →: When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Commentary:
Starting the day with a side of dizziness and a sprinkle of existential dread, served fresh at sunrise! 🍽️🤪💸
1 week ago
Share →: I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Commentary:
Hope you've got your umbrella ready for some cash showers! ☔💸
1 week ago
Share →: My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Commentary:
Every time I open my wallet, I get a surprise tear-jerking performance worthy of an Oscar! 🧅💸😂
1 week ago
Share →: “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Commentary:
I always knew Dad's real talent was secretly saving internet bandwidth 🌐💸👏
1 week ago
Share →: Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Commentary:
Trying to return my adulthood for store credit. 🛍️😅📈

For even more funny money quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny money quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Making waves on X:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Just landed via Snapchat:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

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