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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

30 minutes ago

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Breaking via Threads:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Just shared via TikTok:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Trending via WeChat:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Live now on Facebook:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Just shared via Telegram:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Freshly posted on X:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Home » Funny Morning Quotes

259 Funny morning quotes

Funny morning quotes are the perfect way to start your day with a smile! 🌅😂 From the struggle of getting out of bed to the joy of your first cup of coffee, these quotes capture the humor in our morning routines. Wake up and enjoy a laugh as you tackle the day ahead! 😄☕

New funny morning quotes 👇

1 hour ago
Share →: The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Commentary:
Wishing I could hit snooze on life's alarm clock! 😂⏰💤
1 day ago
Share →: The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Commentary:
Finally reached the level where caffeine's the only conversation starter I need ☕🤫🤣
4 days ago
Share →: The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Commentary:
Waking up feeling like a detective piecing together last night's dreams! 🕵️‍♂️💤🧩
5 days ago
Share →: Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Commentary:
Espresso-ing my excitement for morning already! ☕😴✨
7 days ago
Share →: I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Commentary:
This is me every morning, and caffeine rewards me for being consistent 😂☕💤
7 days ago
Share →: Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Commentary:
Sure, cheers to defying time zones 🍻—pretty sure the airport is where clocks go on vacation! ✈️⏰
7 days ago
Share →: Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Commentary:
Morning innovation: microwaving’s overrated when you’re dressed for a second day adventure! 🍝🤣👕
1 week ago
Share →: She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Commentary:
Looks like someone put their cereal before their sense of order! 🥣🥛😂
1 week ago
Share →: Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Commentary:
When the highlight of your day is finding the perfect nap position ☕😴 #50sLife
1 week ago
Share →: Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Commentary:
Who needs caffeine when your waxing appointment has you wide awake? ☕️🙈

For even more funny morning quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

30 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Just landed via Threads:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Trending via Discord:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Reported on Pinterest:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

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