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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Trending via Twitch:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Breaking via Discord:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

326 Funny morning quotes

Funny morning quotes are the perfect way to start your day with a smile! 🌅😂 From the struggle of getting out of bed to the joy of your first cup of coffee, these quotes capture the humor in our morning routines. Wake up and enjoy a laugh as you tackle the day ahead! 😄☕

New funny morning quotes 👇

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

1 hour ago

am, anger, angry, better, bruh, frustration, humor, i, idea, morning, much, reality, relationship, used
I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

2 hours ago

anxiety, being, early, early riser, extra, humor, i, Monday, morning, much, procrastination, riser, sleep, today, tomorrow, waking, waking up, woke, workweek, worrying
I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

4 hours ago

again, attention, beginning, ending, humor, i, me, morning, new, new beginning, pay, perspective, resilience, times, world, world ending
Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

5 hours ago

back, back to work, forgetfulness, humor, i, job, morning, office, remember, trying, work
No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

6 hours ago

actually, alarm, alarm clock, annoyance, babe, before, clock, full, hour, humor, love, me, morning, only, partner, relationship, sarcasm, starting, wake, wake up
My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

7 hours ago

able, back, bed, getting, getting up, knowing, morning, motivation, relaxation, sleep
Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

7 hours ago

anyone, confusion, good, know, morning, question, right, wrong
Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

9 hours ago

boredom, Christmas, Christmas morning, cop, cops, enforcement, excited, family, gun, hell, highway, holiday, hours, humor, ignore, law, law enforcement, morning, radar, radar gun, sit, traffic, wake
The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

9 hours ago

after, appliance, Christmas, cooking, danger, dangerous, day, holiday, microwave, morning
Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

9 hours ago

eyes, gift, gifts, humor, morning, surprise

For even more funny morning quotes, hit next 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

47 shares on X this month:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Going viral on Threads:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Just landed via YouTube:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Just landed via Threads:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Spotted on Messenger:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

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