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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my train wreck of a life.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Making waves on YouTube:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Trending via WeChat:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Going viral on TikTok:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Spotted on Slack:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Home » Funny Narcissism Quotes

Funny narcissism quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Just shared via Slack:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Just shared via TikTok:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

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