Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Going viral on Facebook:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Breaking via YouTube:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Trending via Reddit:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Just landed via Reddit:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Going viral on Telegram:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Trending via YouTube:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Funny nightstand quotes

Funny nightstand quotes bring a splash of humor to your bedtime routine 🌙😂 Whether you’re a night owl or an early bird, these witty sayings turn your bedside table into a mini comedy club 🎉📚 Get ready to chuckle every night and start your mornings with a smile 😄✨ Perfect for adding personality and laughs to your cozy corner!

New funny nightstand quotes 👇

All funny nightstand quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

36 shares on Discord this month:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Going viral on Reddit:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Just landed via Telegram:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Seen just now on Discord:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Trending via Telegram:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Seen just now on Discord:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

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