Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Breaking via TikTok:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Going viral on Reddit:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Spotted on Threads:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Funny obey quotes

Funny obey quotes bring a hilarious twist to following rules and staying in line 😄✨ Whether you love a cheeky rebel vibe or just enjoy a good laugh about authority, these witty sayings will have you grinning from ear to ear 😂👌 Get ready to see obedience like never before—full of humor, sass, and a little bit of mischief! 🎉🔥

New funny obey quotes 👇

All funny obey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

75 shares on X this month:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

66 shares on YouTube this month:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Making waves on Telegram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just shared via Telegram:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Making waves on Discord:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

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