Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Jan 6, 2026

3,242

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Just landed via Messenger:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Breaking via TikTok:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Making waves on WeChat:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Seen just now on Slack:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Live now on Slack:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Shared recently on X:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Funny obey quotes

Funny obey quotes bring a hilarious twist to following rules and staying in line 😄✨ Whether you love a cheeky rebel vibe or just enjoy a good laugh about authority, these witty sayings will have you grinning from ear to ear 😂👌 Get ready to see obedience like never before—full of humor, sass, and a little bit of mischief! 🎉🔥

New funny obey quotes 👇

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

0

2 months ago

belief, believe, compliance, driving, humor, i, irony, law, obey, rule, time, traffic, traffic law
It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

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2 months ago

bears, eat, freedom, humans, humor, irony, laws, nature, obey, us, want
I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

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2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, humor, i, nerf, obey, rule, rules, traffic, traffic rule
Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

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2 months ago

expectations, humor, i, instruction, non-parent, obedience, obey, parenting, something, toddler, want
I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

0

2 months ago

always, boundary, growth, humor, i, know, knowledge, limits, obedience, obey, personal, personal growth, self-awareness

All funny obey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Instagram this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

80 shares on Slack this month:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

59 shares on Discord this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Spotted on Reddit:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Live now on Snapchat:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Shared recently on Threads:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Live now on YouTube:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

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