Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of manual blocking! Back in my day, no need for fancy buttons or technology, just good ol' elbow grease and determination! 💪🤣 #VintageBlockingTechniques
6 months ago
Share →: Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of embracing the 'old and bitter' life! Who knew it could be so pleasantly satisfying? 🧓🏼🍋 Don't knock it 'til you try it, right? 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Commentary:
"Who wants to go out with a bang when you can go out with a grand piano solo 🎹 CRASH landing? Watch out composers, this person is aiming for a smashing finale! 💥😆"
6 months ago
Share →: You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Commentary:
Oh, the iconic spin move! 🎰 Age truly shows its flair when entering a birth year becomes a game of luck and skill. 😂 Are you feeling like a contestant on the Wheel of Birth Years? Time to spin that dial and hope for a jackpot of wisdom and experience! 🧙‍♂️🦉
6 months ago
Share →: Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Commentary:
"Taking a break from swiping left and right to await my knight in shining armor…or perhaps just a humble farmer with a trusty donkey 🐴🐉 #MedievalLoveStory #NoMoreSwipeLife"
6 months ago
Share →: I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the magical time when leftovers start developing autonomy 🍲🤖. They are probably having a party in your fridge while plotting their escape mission! Time to set them free, brave soul 😄👋."
6 months ago
Share →: I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Commentary:
"Sometimes we all just want to be missed like we're the only source of entertainment and snacks in the whole wide world 🚽👶💔 #nephewlove"
6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Commentary:
Welcome to your 40's, where you're in the prime of life but also suddenly realizing that time has been playing some sneaky tricks on you! 🕰️😄 Embrace it, own it, and don't forget to double-check your birth certificate just to make sure! #AgeIsJustANumber #Feeling40AndFabulous
6 months ago
Share →: I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Commentary:
"Ah, the pure joy of toddler fashion exploration! 👖😄 Who needs wardrobe malfunctions when you have an enthusiastic fashion critic at home? 😂 #ParentingAdventures"
6 months ago
Share →: Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Commentary:
"Those fake tans are giving off major 'leftovers in Tupperware' vibes 🍅🤣 Looks like they accidentally got the 'extra sauce' setting! 😂"