120 Funny own quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

  Commentary:
  "Current situation: involuntarily becoming one with my thoughts 🧘‍♂️🤯 Can someone please ship an emergency playlist to the gym? 🎧😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, some 'me-time' with my beloved gadgets! 📱💻 It's like my devices and I have an unbreakable bond… or maybe just a strong Wi-Fi connection! 😄🔌"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

  Commentary:
  "When your parents are experts in spotting fake friends but get bamboozled by Aunt Karen 🤦‍♂️😂 #FamilyDrama #PlotTwist" 🌟👀

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

  Commentary:
  "Just doing a quality check! 🕵️‍♂️😂 #SelfLove"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

  Commentary:
  Definitely! Here's a fun comment you can use:

  "Better yet, focus on your own adorable chaos! 😄👶🙃"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

  Commentary:
  Guess I agree—my own company is pretty entertaining! 😂🤷‍♂️ #NoDramaJustMe

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

  Commentary:
  Haha, talk about a forgetful party planner in the making! 🎉🤔 Maybe next time, the surprise will be on you—because with a memory like that, you'll forget you even planned it! 😅🎈#MemoryGoals

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

  Commentary:
  🔑🏠 "Ah, the universal magic trick of homeownership: waving your keys in front of a giant house and hoping for the best. If only it were that easy! Maybe we should try waving a toaster at a bank next and see if that works too? 🤷‍♂️😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

  Commentary:
  That’s the ultimate self-love move—who needs an audience when you’ve got your own comedy club? 😂👏 Whether I’m cracking myself up or you’re just “happening” to be there, I’ve got the best jokes in town! 🎤🤪 Keep laughing, folks!

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

  Commentary:
  🤣 Oh snap! Tom Cruise definitely takes "action hero" to a whole new level! 🎬💥 It seems like he's more daring off-screen than on-screen these days! 🤸‍♂️🎥 #StuntmanGoals

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