Commentary:
Borrowing cigarettes to save for the zombie apocalypse 🧟♂️🚬💼
187 Funny own quotes
(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.
Commentary:
Looks like it's BYOMS (Bring Your Own Milkshake) day! 🥤😂
I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.
Commentary:
Why invite anyone else when you can surprise yourself multiple times a day? 🎉🤔🙃
They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.
Commentary:
I can't wait for the bark-mitzvah next! 🎉🐶💥
Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.
Commentary:
Living solo: where dust bunnies fear the birthday suit cleaning crew 🧹😆🏡
I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.
Commentary:
Scrolling past drama like a pro 🧘♂️🖱️✨ No time for keyboard warriors here!
My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've been promoted to the honorary position of the "starter boyfriend." 😂👫👉⬆️
What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.
Commentary:
Looks like someone needs a taste test before serving up that advice buffet! 🍴🙃
Eating watermelon and minding my own business.
Commentary:
Just here, living my best life between watermelon bites 🍉😎
Unpopular activity: minding your own business.
Commentary:
Finally found the secret to happiness: ignoring everyone else's drama! 🙉🤫😎