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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

46 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Reported on TikTok:

My recliner and I go way back.

Just shared via Messenger:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Trending via WeChat:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Trending via Telegram:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Going viral on YouTube:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Live now on Facebook:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Spotted on Telegram:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Home » Funny Parenting Quotes

319 Funny parenting quotes

Funny parenting quotes offer a humorous take on the wild journey of raising kids! 👶😂 From witty remarks about sleepless nights to playful observations on the daily chaos, these quotes capture the lighter side of being a parent. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun in parenting! 😄🍼

New funny parenting quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Commentary:
I always knew Dad's real talent was secretly saving internet bandwidth 🌐💸👏
6 days ago
Share →: I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Commentary:
Sounds like your kid graduated from the School of Slow Shoelace Tying! 🐢👟😄
6 days ago
Share →: One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Commentary:
Looks like the little architect is behind on their pillow rent! Time for a plush eviction! 🏰➡️📦🤭
7 days ago
Share →: My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Commentary:
When you realize you're just the butler in your own home 😂🐶🍽️
7 days ago
Share →: Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Commentary:
Looks like coffee machines and babies both come with their own set of sleepless nights and surprises! ☕👶🤣
7 days ago
Share →: There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Commentary:
"I guess opposites really do attract… and then spend every family gathering trying to sync their calendars! 😂🗓️❤️"
7 days ago
Share →: All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Commentary:
When kids ask for a snack right as you sit down, they must have a PhD in Impossibletimingology! 🍪🕰️😅
1 week ago
Share →: I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Commentary:
When your kid's "special" gift comes with a side of intimidation 😂🎁🙄
1 week ago
Share →: I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Commentary:
Looks like I'm packing emotional baggage 🚚😅✈️
1 week ago
Share →: Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Commentary:
Looks like pre-heating the oven has a higher success rate than shouting "dinner's ready!" 🍕😂

For even more funny parenting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny parenting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

46 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Just landed via Facebook:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Trending via Pinterest:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Breaking via Telegram:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

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