Funny quotes parenting

283 Funny parenting quotes

Funny parenting quotes offer a humorous take on the wild journey of raising kids! 👶😂 From witty remarks about sleepless nights to playful observations on the daily chaos, these quotes capture the lighter side of being a parent. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun in parenting! 😄🍼

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

1 week ago

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

1 month ago

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

1 month ago

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

1 month ago

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

1 month ago

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

1 month ago

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

1 month ago

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

1 month ago

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

1 month ago

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

1 month ago

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

1 month ago

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

1 month ago

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

1 month ago

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

1 month ago

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

1 month ago

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

1 month ago

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

1 month ago

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

1 month ago

We decided to have money instead of children.

1 month ago

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

1 month ago

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

1 month ago

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

1 month ago

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

1 month ago

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

1 month ago

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

1 month ago

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

2 months ago

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

2 months ago

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

2 months ago

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

2 months ago

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

2 months ago