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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Reported on TikTok:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Just shared via Instagram:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Trending via Instagram:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Going viral on Slack:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Spotted on X:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Making waves on X:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Spotted on Messenger:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Trending via Threads:

I miss you (the money I spent).

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