Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Just landed via TikTok:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Shared recently on Slack:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Trending via Pinterest:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Spotted on Twitch:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Making waves on Slack:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Funny portray quotes

Funny portray quotes bring a splash of humor 🎭 and wit to everyday moments, turning simple scenes into laugh-out-loud memories 😂. Whether you’re feeling cheeky or just need a mood boost 🌟, these playful words capture the fun side of life perfectly. Get ready to smile, giggle, and share the joy with a collection that’s as entertaining as it is clever! 🎉✨

New funny portray quotes 👇

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

0

2 months ago

actually, combat, cute, fitness, girly, humor, perception, Pilates, portray, thing, training

Someone from 🇻🇨 has recently bookmarked this quote.

95 shares on WeChat this month.
May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, day, expectations, humor, irony, life, media, portray, reality, social, social media

Someone from 🇲🇼 has recently bookmarked this quote.

31 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny portray quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on X this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

52 shares on Instagram this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

62 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Just shared via Discord:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Making waves on X:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Live now on X:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

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