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Jan 21, 2025
Share →: My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Commentary:
"If stress was a talent, I'd be dropping hits all day long as '2 Stressd' 🎤😅 Just wait until my next album 'Anxious Anthems' hits the charts! 🎶💥 #RapperLife"

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And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

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Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

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Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

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I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

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This meeting could have been a pajama party.

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Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

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Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

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Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

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Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

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My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

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Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Spreading quickly via X:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Just shared via WeChat:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Just landed via Telegram:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Reported on Snapchat:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Going viral on Instagram:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

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For even more funny rapper name quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny rapper name quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

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I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

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“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

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People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

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