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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Just landed via WeChat:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Just shared via Slack:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Shared recently on Slack:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Going viral on Threads:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Trending via Slack:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Funny reconcile quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

28 shares on Slack this month:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

71 shares on Threads this month:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

59 shares on Slack this month:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

57 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Trending via TikTok:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Freshly posted on X:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Just shared via WeChat:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Just landed via Threads:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Trending via WeChat:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Breaking via Messenger:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Just shared via Facebook:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

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