45 Funny regret quotes

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  1 week ago

  View →: My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: “Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.
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  1 month ago

  View →: No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.
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  1 month ago

  View →: If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
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  2 months ago

  View →: I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.
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  2 months ago

  View →: When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.
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  4 months ago

  View →: There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done
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  5 months ago

  View →: Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.
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  5 months ago

  View →: God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”
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  5 months ago

  View →: Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

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