Funny quotes regret

34 Funny regret quotes

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025