48 Funny religion quotes

• So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

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  36 minutes ago

  anyone, apocalypse, belief, climate, climate disaster, die, disaster, disasters, end, humor, just, know, mass, mass belief, psychosis, religion, religious, satire, survival, thing

• I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

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  12 hours ago

  better, carpenter, humor, i, Jesus, joke, know, plumber, religion, thing, think, water

• When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

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  12 hours ago

  friend, friends, humor, i, interaction, notice, pretend, religion, religious, social, social interaction

• Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

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  17 hours ago

  around, cheese, dairy, food, food idea, funny thought, humor, idea, joke, religion, starting, thinking, thought

• I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

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  23 hours ago

  atheist, belief, humor, prayer, prayers, religion, send, skepticism, thought, thoughts

• This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

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  23 hours ago

  after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion

• “There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

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  7 days ago

  after, alive, being, belief, commentary, death, exploitation, humor, keeps, life, quiet, reason, religion, reward, silence, social, social commentary, while

• Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

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  7 days ago

  disobedience, faith, God, hell, humor, irony, people, question, religion, same, Satan, torture, why

• God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

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  2 months ago

  divine, enough, God, humor, joke, religion, sarcasm, smiting

• I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

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  2 months ago

  after, body, brunch, Buddha, food, God, humor, i, joke, religion, self-deprecating

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