Funny quotes religion

28 Funny religion quotes

Funny religion quotes offer a humorous perspective on faith and spirituality. 🙏😄 From witty remarks about religious practices to playful jabs at spiritual quirks, these quotes bring a light-hearted touch to the often serious world of religion. Enjoy a laugh while reflecting on the lighter side of faith and belief! 🙏😄

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

2 weeks ago

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

4 weeks ago

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

1 month ago

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

1 month ago

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

2 months ago

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

2 months ago

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

3 months ago

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

3 months ago

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

3 months ago

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

3 months ago

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

3 months ago

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

3 months ago

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

3 months ago

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

3 months ago

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

3 months ago

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

3 months ago

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

3 months ago

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

3 months ago

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

3 months ago

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

3 months ago

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

3 months ago

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

3 months ago

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

3 months ago

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

3 months ago

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

3 months ago

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

3 months ago

I’m going to hell in every religion.

3 months ago

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

3 months ago