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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

781 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,943

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,943

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Live now on Pinterest:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Just shared via X:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Spotted on Messenger:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Spotted on X:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

781 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,943

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,943

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Trending via Slack:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Trending via Threads:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Reported on WhatsApp:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Spotted on Twitch:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Shared recently on Instagram:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Seen just now on Threads:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

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