Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Trending via Discord:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Breaking via Threads:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Just shared via TikTok:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Making waves on Discord:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Just landed via Slack:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Funny restarting quotes

Funny restarting quotes bring a burst of laughter to those moments when life hits the reset button 🔄😂 Whether you’re rebooting your day, your dreams, or just your computer, these witty gems remind us that fresh starts don’t have to be serious! 💡✨ Embrace the funny side of new beginnings and get ready to smile as you hit restart with a chuckle or two 🎉😄

New funny restarting quotes 👇

All funny restarting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Slack this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

11 shares on Discord this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

54 shares on Messenger this month:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

68 shares on X this month:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The future is buffering.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Just shared via Slack:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Shared recently on Discord:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Trending via Messenger:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Just shared via YouTube:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Going viral on Twitch:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Going viral on Reddit:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴