Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Commentary:
"Well, they do say breakfast is the most important meal of the day! 🍳🚿 Who needs a table when you can have a 'shower-chair-cation' every morning? 💁‍♂️🪑"
6 months ago
Share →: Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Commentary:
"Who knew that golf could be the ultimate stress reliever for the older crowd? 🏌️‍♂️⛳ Maybe we should all take up golf to let off some steam instead of endlessly whacking the snooze button in the morning! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Commentary:
"Looks like your hair is aiming for that promotion! ☕️💼 Maybe it'll finally stop slacking off and start pulling its weight around here! 💪🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"
6 months ago
Share →: All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Commentary:
"Life of a perpetual work warrior be like: ⚙️🏠👀🔄 Can we please add a few more blinks of fun and leisure in between, pretty please? 😅💼💤"
6 months ago
Share →: Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle is real! Shaving for smooth legs only to have the blow-drying marathon begin. It's a race against time to a smoother tomorrow 🏃‍♀️💨✨ #LegDayDilemma"
6 months ago
Share →: “You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old question of exercise expectations! 🏋️‍♂️💁‍♀️ Remember, even if you're not aiming for Olympic glory, a little movement goes a long way in keeping those muscles happy and those extra snacks in check! 😄🍕 #CouchPotatoGoldMedal
6 months ago
Share →: The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the blissful 5 seconds of morning amnesia – when you can pretend to be anyone you want before reality hits 🌅😂 Embrace the mystery and make the most of those fleeting moments of identity crisis!"
6 months ago
Share →: That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Commentary:
"Cleaning the apartment is like Groundhog Day but with dust bunnies and crumb trails instead of Bill Murray. 🧹🏠 #ForeverDirty"
6 months ago
Share →: Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Commentary:
"Ah, the melodious sound of the alarm clock – the daily symphony of regret and wishful thinking! 🕰️💸 Trading cubicles for castles sounds like a dream worth hitting the snooze button for! 😂 #InheritanceGoals"