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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Trending via Facebook:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Seen just now on Slack:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Making waves on Twitch:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Shared recently on X:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Funny salted butter quotes

New funny salted butter quotes 👇

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

3 weeks ago

butter, cooking, emphasis, enough, food, food preference, humor, i, preference, salted, salted butter, seasoning, stress

All funny salted butter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

68 shares on X this month:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

28 shares on X this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

79 shares on Discord this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

75 shares on Threads this month:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Spotted on Messenger:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Trending via YouTube:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Spreading quickly via X:

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Just shared via Threads:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Just shared via WeChat:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny salted butter quotes

New funny salted butter quotes 👇

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

All funny salted butter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨