Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Seen just now on X:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Making waves on Threads:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Just shared via Discord:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Breaking via Messenger:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Breaking via Slack:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Just landed via Messenger:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Funny self-obsession quotes

Funny self-obsession quotes are the perfect way to laugh at our love for all things “me, myself, and I” 😎✨ Whether you’re a little vain or just enjoy a cheeky ego boost, these witty lines will have you smiling and nodding in agreement 🤳😂 Get ready to celebrate your inner superstar with humor that’s as bold as your selfie game! 📸🌟

New funny self-obsession quotes 👇

All funny self-obsession quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Discord this month:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

22 shares on Discord this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Seen just now on Discord:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Making waves on Pinterest:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Breaking via Telegram:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Making waves on Instagram:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Spotted on X:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Just shared via X:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

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