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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

19 minutes ago

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Live now on X:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Just shared via Slack:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Reported on Discord:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Home » Funny Selling Quotes

Funny selling quotes

Funny selling quotes bring a burst of laughter to the world of sales 🎉💼 Whether you’re pitching to clients or hustling on the grind, a clever joke or witty line can lighten the mood and boost your vibe 😄🚀 Get ready to smile, stay motivated, and sell smarter with a sprinkle of humor that makes every deal feel a little less serious and a lot more fun! 🤑✨

New funny selling quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Commentary:
Trying to convince kids that crypto isn't just grown-up Monopoly money: mission impossible 🎩🪙🤹‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Commentary:
When the local grocery store tells you to keep your produce covered 🍏🧺😄
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Commentary:
"Having a garage sale: The ultimate passive-aggressive way to solve your borrowing problems 🛠️🚫💸 #SecretlyHopeTheyShowUp"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Commentary:
"Well, who's the genius now, huh, Rubik's cubes? 😏💰 Say goodbye to those smug faces as I smash my way to success with Rubik's Hammers! 🔨💪 #80sInnovation"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Commentary:
"Be cautious of those beaming beings! 😁 Either they're scheming to sell you a bridge 🌉 or are missing a bulb 💡 in the chandelier upstairs! 💁‍♂️ #BrightSmilesButDimMinds"

For even more funny selling quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny selling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

19 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Just landed via Slack:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Trending via Instagram:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Going viral on Slack:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Shared recently on X:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Spotted on YouTube:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

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