I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Commentary:
"Having a garage sale: The ultimate passive-aggressive way to solve your borrowing problems 🛠️🚫💸 #SecretlyHopeTheyShowUp"

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Commentary:
"Well, who's the genius now, huh, Rubik's cubes? 😏💰 Say goodbye to those smug faces as I smash my way to success with Rubik's Hammers! 🔨💪 #80sInnovation"

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Commentary:
"Be cautious of those beaming beings! 😁 Either they're scheming to sell you a bridge 🌉 or are missing a bulb 💡 in the chandelier upstairs! 💁‍♂️ #BrightSmilesButDimMinds"