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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

34 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Trending via Messenger:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Just landed via Messenger:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Making waves on Messenger:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Spotted on Slack:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Reported on Facebook:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Home » Funny Simple Person Quotes

Funny simple person quotes

New funny simple person quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Commentary:
"Ah, the simple pleasures in life – like world domination and unlimited snacks! 🌍🍔 Who needs complicated wishes when all you really need is a little universe rearranging, right? 😆 #SimplePersonGoals"

For even more funny simple person quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny simple person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

34 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Shared recently on Twitch:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Going viral on Facebook:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Reported on Snapchat:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Spotted on Slack:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Going viral on X:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Breaking via Facebook:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Trending via Snapchat:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

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