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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Making waves on X:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Trending via Discord:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Going viral on Twitch:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Seen just now on Threads:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Spotted on YouTube:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Trending via Slack:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Live now on Pinterest:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

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