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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Breaking via X:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Shared recently on Discord:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Breaking via Threads:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Breaking via YouTube:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

12 Funny spaghetti quotes

Funny spaghetti quotes 🍝 are the perfect way to add a little extra flavor to your pasta love! Whether you’re twirling noodles or just dreaming of that saucy goodness, these witty and pun-filled sayings will make you smile wider than a bowl of perfectly cooked spaghetti. Get ready to laugh, share, and maybe even inspire your next pasta night with some saucy humor! 😄🍅🍴

New funny spaghetti quotes 👇

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

2 months ago

away, before, break, breaking, cook, cooking, food, half, humor, i, italian, joke, kitchen, pasta, spaghetti, tradition
I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

2 months ago

aging, breaking, humor, i, knees, noise, prepared, someone, sound, spaghetti, stairs, time
Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

2 months ago

eating, food, forgetti, humor, italian, Italian food, pun, regret, regretti, spaghetti
Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

2 months ago

ball, date, food, humor, line, meat, pickup, pickup line, pun, spaghetti, want
Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

2 months ago

break, cooking, every, food, half, humor, italian, joke, noodles, spaghetti, stereotype, stroke, time
I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

2 months ago

cooking, family, food, generational, great, humor, i, inheritance, recipe, sauce, spaghetti, tradition, wealth
You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

2 months ago

attention, date, dining, eat, fashion, food, humor, mess, shirt, spaghetti, wants, wear, white
If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

2 months ago

adventure, factory, fast, food, ID, imagination, marinara, river, spaghetti, tube, Wonka
How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

3 months ago

clothes, clothing, food, funny observation, humor, irony, know, light-colored, light-colored clothes, observation, spaghetti, stains
Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

3 months ago

children, chubby, food, food humor, funny food, gnocchi, humor, pasta, potato, spaghetti

For even more funny spaghetti quotes, hit next 👇

All funny spaghetti quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

100 shares on Discord this month:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

10 shares on X this month:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

44 shares on Discord this month:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Shared recently on Threads:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Going viral on TikTok:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Making waves on YouTube:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Just shared via WeChat:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Trending via WeChat:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Breaking via Reddit:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

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