Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Making waves on Discord:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Trending via Discord:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Just shared via Facebook:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Trending via Discord:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Trending via Facebook:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Funny start of week quotes

New funny start of week quotes 👇

All funny start of week quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

37 shares on X this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

44 shares on X this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,756

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Going viral on Slack:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Spotted on WeChat:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Spotted on Telegram:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

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