141 Funny take quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew speed dating had a sequel? 😂👩‍❤️‍👨🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️ #TherapistsNightmare #StrangersInTherapy"

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, I followed the IT troubleshooting steps: nap taken, brain restarted, headache should be GONE! 😆🤯 #NapFails"

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to making things 'interesting,' I'm the Picasso of chaos! 🎨🤣💥"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

  Commentary:
  "Now I'm over here like 'Nap time is the best time!' Adulting really flipped the script. 😂🛌😴"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

  …

  Commentary:
  "BRB, just unscrewing my spine like it's IKEA furniture! 🛠️😂 #SpinalSpaDay"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

  Commentary:
  "Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a royal decree I can get behind… or rather, under the covers! 😂👑🛏️ #NobleNaps #RoyallyTuckedIn"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

  Commentary:
  "When pizza becomes a team sport! 🍕💪😂 Where do I sign up for the 'Pizza Lifting Olympics'?!"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

  Commentary:
  "Petition to reclaim my childhood naps—because adulting didn’t come with a snooze button! 😴🕒 #NapReparations"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧"

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