Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Spotted on Facebook:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Just shared via TikTok:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Live now on TikTok:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

223 Funny take quotes

Funny take quotes 😂🎭 are like the comedic superheroes of the quote universe, swooping in to save the day with a punchline and a wink. They’re the perfect blend of wisdom and wit, turning life’s curveballs into lighthearted laughs. Whether you need a giggle or a grin, these clever quips are here to tickle your funny bone and brighten your day with a delightful dose of humor. Get ready to chuckle! 🤣✨

New funny take quotes 👇

For even more funny take quotes, hit next 👇

All funny take quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

68 shares on X this month:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Going viral on Twitch:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Making waves on X:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴