170 Funny tell quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

  Commentary:
  🐺🏠 When you have two wolves inside you, the last thing you need is your landlord getting involved! 🙈 Better keep those wild roommates under wraps before you end up with a "no wolves allowed" policy. 🚫🐺 #WildLifeProblems #LandlordDrama

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old parenting hack – the elusive art of distraction! 🧺📚 Tell a teen to fold laundry and suddenly math problems seem like a piece of cake! 🤣 Who knew chores could be the homework motivation we've all been searching for? 🤷‍♂️ #ParentingWin"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

  Commentary:
  When your Mother-in-Law's stories always end with "And I turned out OK," you can't help but wonder 🤔 if there's a hidden plot twist waiting to be revealed! Like, seriously, who's gonna break it to her? 🤷‍♂️😂 It's all in good fun, right? 😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of creating chaos through strategic gossip fodder! 😏 Mixing it up like a cocktail of conflicting information, watch the drama unfold as your friends play a high-stakes game of 'He said, she said!' 🍹🔥 Just remember to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the elusive male guitar player 🎸 They say actions speak louder than words, but apparently not when it comes to rocking out on the six strings! 🎶 Here’s a pro tip: if a guy can play guitar, he will definitely let you know… multiple times 😄🎸 #GuitaristsGonnaGuitar

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone had a truly "electrifying" weekend! Who needs parties when you've got a life-or-death situation with a TV remote, right? 🔋📺 May your remote control skills always be as strong as your improvisation game! 💪😄 #RemoteRescueMission

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

  Commentary:
  "Patience is a virtue… that I don't have time for! ⏳⌛️ Don't make me wait longer than it takes to microwave popcorn for the dramatic conclusion! 🍿😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the power of the gaze! 👀 A classic case of 'Foot-In-Mouth' syndrome, but with a twist! 👣 Who knew eyes could be so expressive, enough to elicit a toe-tally awkward encounter! 😂 Lesson learned: watch where you step, or rather, where you stare! 👀👣"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'joke rescue operation' strategy! 🚨 When one-liners crash-land, deploy the backup puns for that extra turbo boost of laughter 😂. Who knew bombing could be so entertaining? 💣✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

  Commentary:
  "Are your twins natural?" 🤖 Oh, no no, they're actually state-of-the-art, fully-functional robots! 🤖👶🤖 Who needs natural when you have technological wonders at home? 🤣 #RoboticParenting #TwinsOrTerminators

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