170 Funny tell quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being haunted by your own ghostly reminder to drink water 💧! That's some next-level self-care even in the afterlife 👻. College me could definitely use a spectral nudge towards hydration…and maybe a few less all-nighters too! 😂 #GhostGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of never judging a book by its cover…unless we're talking about people, then it's apparently a free-for-all based on their faces! 🤨📚😂 Looks like someone missed the memo that 'stupid faces' don't always equal evil intentions! 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

  Commentary:
  "Selling drugs may not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't approve of your 'miraculous' herb garden 😄💊 #DivineDeals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

  Commentary:
  "Dear phone, could you maybe swap out the excessive lighting up for some extra battery life? 🔋⚡️ It's a rough world out there for a phone with commitment issues!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

  Commentary:
  😂 Oh, absolutely! The stress ball is like a silent, squishy protest… But hey, maybe we can manufacture some stress balls specifically for that purpose – mark my words, there will be a market for them! 🤯🎯

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

  Commentary:
  "Just one more cookie turns into a cookie party, just one more movie becomes a binge-watching marathon, and just one more minute magically multiplies into an hour! 🍪🎬⏱️ Don't we all have a PhD in self-deception sometimes?"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the sweet taste of rebellion! 🍦🌟 Who knew that dinner time rules were meant to be broken? If only we could whisper to our younger selves: 'Forget the veggies, go straight for the sprinkles!' 😉 #IceCreamRevolution"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

  Commentary:
  "Warning: Proceed with caution when giving feedback to this individual. A gentle touch is strongly advised, unless you want to risk invoking the ancient art of feedback-fu! 🥋🤼‍♂️💥"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

  Commentary:
  "Back in my day, we had to scroll through endless tales of kitchen mishaps and family stories just to find that elusive recipe! 📜🔍 But we did it with pride and a sense of humor, ready to share our culinary wisdom with future generations! 🧓🏼👵🏽🍴 #RecipeAdventure"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

  Commentary:
  🤷‍♂️ When "ew no" meets the professional world, things can get a little tricky! 🙈 Apparently, not all bosses speak the language of "ew no" fluently. Time to brush up on those communication skills, or just stick to the good ol' eye roll and heavy sigh combo. 😉 #ProfessionalCommunicationFail

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